Expensive Jokes

These are my two jokes that got published in Reader’s Digest years ago:

'One of the most annoying things about living in a college dormitory was the frequent disappearance of food from its refrigerator. At my wit’s end, I put two shiny apples in the fridge and placed a sign beside them: “One of these has been poisoned.”
Later I showed my roommate what I had done. The apples were still there, but next to my sign was a new one: “Now both are.”'
'My grandmother dislikes the revealing outfits that sportswomen wear. One evening, she was watching TV when I heard her say with considerable indignation, “As if one needs to be told what it is!”
Intrigued, I looked over at the screen and saw members of the Brazilian women’s beach volleyball team. Printed on their tops were the letters, “B-R-A.”'

Together I earned USD300 for just 129 words. Not bad for an absolute amateur. Reader’s Digest was, and probably still is, pretty generous with its contribution payment.