Love? Please define

There is nothing more distasteful than the way “love” has been commercialized and politicized in China and, increasingly and inevitably, Hong Kong.

Businesses from banks to cooking oil manufacturers make TV commercials which associate their services or products with love. Worse still, China and Hong Kong propagates love – love of the country, the region, the Communist Party, the people. What is this love anyway? The commercialized love lures you into spending your money. The politicized love lures you into sacrificing your life and, worse of all, even the lives of others. But what sort of love does the deeds of those in power demonstrate? Is their action compatible with their words?

Amazingly, though, many people buy this – people who, I believe, do not understand love; people who either have not loved or been loved.

An immortal love letter

What is an immortal love letter?

Probably not the ones you and I wrote in the yesteryears. A classic example has to be this one written by St Paul:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

"Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

This letter to the Corinthians was read at the wedding service I attended last Sunday, just as it has been read in innumerable others. There is no better choice for Bible reading on such an occasion. Couples to be wedded would benefit for life if they keep these verses to their hearts. But as I observed on the day, the attendants of the services did not seem to be pondering the meaning.

The verses, though immortal, may simply not be sensational enough.

We're not all bad

Not all news stories are depressing, such as the one I mentioned yesterday.

I wondered if it was an intentional arrangement by the newspaper, but alongside the story about the man injuring four baby kittens by swiping them to the ground with a broomstick was another one about how a kind woman saved some puppies’ lives.

The news story reported that after the woman saw some hawkers selling puppies for people to cook and eat, she secretly filmed the process and uploaded the video clips onto the Web. She also bought two puppies to save them from being slaughtered.

The woman is indeed an animal lover. She has been running a haven for stray animals since 2005. She is presently taking care of over 100 cats and 70 dogs.

When we are saddened by stories of animal abuse like the one I wrote about yesterday, we are also comforted by heart-warming stories like this one.

Sad eyes

What do you see in this pair of eyes? Certainly not happiness. I am deeply saddened by the story and image of this poor mother, who had just lost four of her five newborn kittens. 

According to the news story, the female stray cat and her five newborn kittens lived on the awning of an old building. The tragedy was uncovered when a passerby witnessed a man living in the flat above the awning poking at the kittens with a broomstick and swiping them to the ground. The man probably had found the noise produced by the kittens unbearable. Four of the kittens were badly injured and were later collected by the SPCA. Only one managed to escape. The photo was taken when the mother loitered around looking for her lost kids upon finding out what happened. The sadness and fear in her eyes are enough to dispel any notion that animals do not have emotions.

One of the newspapers covering the story, in typical yellow journalism fashion, branded the man a jerk. There were times when I would agree with such an accusation and feel fully justified in wishing the culprit the worst. Gradually, I have learned to see that there might have been some previous experiences that turned the man into someone who would commit such an act. As the book Mindfulness in Plain English says:

“… people can appear very cruel and wicked, yet we must realise they are not that way by nature. Circumstances in their lives make them act in unwholesome ways.”

The book teaches us to not only stop harbouring animosity such people but also bless them, and here is how we should pray for them:

“May my adversaries be well, happy, and peaceful. May no harm come to them, may no difficulty come to them, may no pain come to them. May they always meet with success.”

This is what the book calls “loving friendliness”. Sound noble, but by no means easy to do.

Was it really love?

Except for those who have had a sad or twisted life, most of us must have told others, be it their parents, their spouses or their dates, “I love you”. We so want to tell that to the other person that we may hasten to add the word “forever” to it, believing that we do mean it one hundred percent.

But do we really understand love? Do we really have the true love to back up the statement? The following is a poem that I gave to a girl I thought I would die for many, many years ago:

Love, I love you

not only for what you are,

but for what I am when I am with you.

I love you, not only for what

you have made of yourself,

but for what you are making of me.

I love you for the part of me

that you bring out, I love you

for reaching out and touching my heart,

and passing over all the foolish, weak things

that you can't help simply seeing there,

and for drawing out into the light

all the beautiful belongings

that no one else had looked

quite far enough to find.

Love is entrusting our faults to one another.

Love is belonging in each other's thoughts

with care as well as feeling.

Love is beautiful. You are enhanced by my love.

I am enhanced by you,

Love. I love because of you,

and you are the reason for all of my tomorrows.

Your love makes my life complete.

Larry S. Chengges

Reading it again now, the thought of identifying myself with the “I” and the girl with the “you” in the poem gives me the creeps. Looking back, it was little more than passion and lust, and I thank my lucky star that it didn’t materialize and I bet she does, too.

Rather than being something that lasts “forever” (fortunately, it is a word I never use), love is a very fickle thing indeed.

Love the country, love the party

There is nothing more sickening than the way “love” has been commercialized and politicized in China and, increasingly and inevitably, Hong Kong.

Businesses from banks to cooking oil manufacturers make TV commercials which associate their services or products with love. Worse still, China and Hong Kong propagates love – love of the country, the region, the Communist Party, the people. What is this love anyway? Why? How to justify it? What sort of love does the deeds of those in power demonstrate? Is it in line with their words?

Amazingly, though, many people buy this – people who, I believe, do not understand love; people who either have not loved or been loved.

The commercialized love lures you into spending your money. The politicized love lures you into sacrificing your life and, worse of all, even the lives of others.