The latest political situation revokes in me a feeling that I thought has long been put to rest – a feeling that practically loomed over my childhood.
As a young boy, I was completely powerless against a father I absolutely detested and despised. I had hoped that I would be able to find protection somewhere, but not even my mother was able to provide that.
So I was left to my own devices, and the only way to keep myself from going insane was to completely shut myself off and to secretly swear to myself that, for the rest of my life, as long as it was within my own power, there was not to be a single thing about me that would resemble him. Thanks to that secret oath (or maybe also thanks to him for being such a negative role model), I never drink, smoke and gamble.
And I never watch the soap operas during primetime.
The first thing that he would do when he got back home was switch on the TV. Never mind that our home was so small that the loud volume would affect everyone. Never mind that we children had to do our homework and our revision. That damned thing would stay on long into the night. Of course, I was always boiling inside, but I was also determined to fight a silent battle, and my tactic was to refuse to be drawn into whatever message that was flickering on that screen or blaring from the loudspeakers. So I would choose the most unpopular place at the dinner table – the one with my back to the TV.
In those years, I knew next to nothing about those local TV programmes and actors and actresses, and my tongue would be tied when my classmates talked about what went on in the soap opera the evening before.
Of course, those were supremely wretched days for a child, but when I look back at them now, I have a slight feeling of thankfulness. Maybe we do bleach our memories, however dark they were when they happened. Or maybe that is what we call blessing in disguise.
Anyway, back to the latest political situation. I am completely powerless against Hong Kong’s next Chief Executive that I absolutely detest and despise, and it’s time to shut off on the one hand and wage a war on the other.
Here’s what Rocky told his son in the movie Rocky Balboa:
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!”
Thanks for the reminder, Rocky.