What's wrong with "me"?

"And as that old saying goes, it's not that I think less of myself, but that I think of myself less... And that feels like heaven to me." -Plan B, by Anne Lamott

Anne Lamott's association of thinking of oneself less with a feeling of heaven is a very wise idea. What many religions help followers achieve is a stage where they are able to detach from their selves and reach a blissful state. That is probably what heaven feels like. On the other hand, self-absorption is a source of suffering, one is enslaved by the endless desires and needs of the self.

John Robbin's book Healthy at 100 quoted a very revealing study where the researcher counted the use of the words I, me and mine in the recorded conversations of nearly six hundred men and compared this with the frequency of heart disease. The result shows that the more a man habitually talks about himself, the greater the chance that he will have a heart attack. The message of this beautifully simple but ingenious study cannot be clearer. Self-absorption brings suffering, which manifests itself as health problems.

It pays to take heed of what the researcher advises: "Listen with regard when others talk. Give your time and energy to others; let others have their way; do things for reasons other than furthering your own needs."